Its Thursday and I know that I have lost some weight with ww and feel pretty good about it. the bf and I are doing better with working on each other with lunches going out and being kind to each other. he needs to go back on his meds however i don't think he understands that as of yet. have some challenges at work with two staff that are at each others throats, and cutting hours for everyone, and everyone that is getting cut is mad! Frustrating. I have to cut hours and keep the company afloat, but no one wants to take the cut to make that happen. It will work it self out.

Today is Monday and it was a tough weekend with bf and the family. bf swore at me the first time and I was shocked. I did not eat as well as I could of, but still did better then if I was not doing ww. I think I will put alex and bf in a room together with me and we can work out how we are going to make this relationship work for all of us. i am tired of the fighting.

I told bf that he needed to go back on his medication and work through his challenges, because enough is enough. he can't blame is job for everything and needed to make his life work. i seem to be the one that he is making suffer and i hate that. not another matt in my life. depression can really hurt someone.

I have lost two pounds on ww in the two weeks that i have been working on it. the first pound may of been a lot more but I did not weigh in until the start of the second week and guessed at the first weight, worried at what it would say. So i will take the two pounds and the starting point and go from there. i did measure myself and will do that at the end of the month of november and see if I can see any changes. i so need to get smaller and feel that i have started on that path right now!!

working out has gotten better now that my workout partner is back in full swing and meets with me daily when we both can. Keep it healthy and my mind will stay healthy too.

well, i best get back to work. I am going to work harder at keeping my office clean and do one project a day on my to do list if not more to finish the list by year end and get focused on camp, marketing and financials. We will have a great year ahead of us with better training, baby program and working on saving every single dollar to pay off the bills more and more.

Last year almost all of my credit cards are gone, and now I need to get the line of credits down this next year. An easy feat I think if i work hard every single day and keep a low expense life and watch payroll and everything else. i can do this and will do a great job at the line of credits and not using the credit cards so much. one day at a time.

as for bf, not sure we will make it, but will give it a shot. i liked him once, hopefully he will get his shit together so i can continue to like him. ugh.

Friday with BF

This morning started out as any morning with BF yelling at bb for wanting me to get up. I didn't want to get up since bf had kept me up till 2 talking about his challenges with me and bb. i am staring to see negitivity, and a progression of not being good enough for this man to make a long term relationship with him. I am starting to resent him and wish that he would not of moved in with me with his fucked up dog and winey child. This dog has ruined so much of my house it is crazy, and the child's room is a disaster area, and bf has not done one thing in the house to help with basic cleaning. bf is terrible with money and does not even realize it. yes I am frustrated and am not sure i will will proceed with things in the future.
I just started weight watchers so that will help me with the fat issue that i am having right now. i can't believe how big i have gotten, i think that i have been eating my emotions for awhile now. yikes.
i have started exercising every morning and am ready to make a change for me for the better. life is great i just need to find the great parts of it.